Heartbreak

My beloved Paloma was fine a few days ago,
happy and free-ranging with her flock - 

and this morning I had to watch her die in front of me, 

drowned from thick fluid in her lungs 

after struggling miserably to breathe the past two days.

All this because I had no access to the proper meds to save her.

I am devastated.

I brought this sweet girl home at 8 weeks of age on November 30th, 2009, 

and watched her grow into a huge, beautiful and gentle soul 

with the softest feathers and most demure disposition. 

And now suddenly, she is gone.

And three more girls are sick with the same respiratory ailment

after being fine the whole winter long.

I'm almost ready to throw in the towel,

I can't take any more hits like this, 

it hurts too much.

Good forever night, angel...